BFF : Best friends forever

Monkey grooming with Goat....
From flickr

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Jimmy Kimmel Explains what Miss Teen South Carolina said

A Miss Teen USA contestant is receiving a lot of attention for her confused, mangled response to a pageant question about Americans' knowledge of geography.

Lauren Caitlin Upton, 18, got a chance to redeem herself Tuesday on NBC's "Today" show when she was again asked why one-fifth of Americans cannot locate the United States on a map.


"I would love to re-answer that question," the Miss Teen South Carolina said. "Well personally, my friends and I, we know exactly where the United States is on our map. I don't know anyone else who doesn't. And if the statistics are correct, I believe there should be more emphasis on geography."

That was much better than her previous response, a rambling answer that included references to "U.S. Americans" and mentions of South Africa and "the Iraq."

Here's a funny explanation...

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Aid for Earthquake

A big earthquake with the strength of 8.1 on the Richter scale hits Mexico.

Two million Mexicans have died and over a million are injured. The country is totally ruined and the government doesn't know where to start asking for help to rebuild from this tragedy. The rest of the world is in shock.

Canada is sending troopers to help the Mexican army control the riots.

Saudi Arabia is sending oil.

Other Latin American countries are sending supplies.

The European community (except France) is sending food and money.

The United States, not to be outdone, is sending two million Mexicans to replace the dead ones.

God bless America!!!

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Scientist and philosopher

A scientist and a philosopher were being chased by a hungry lion. The scientist made some quick calculations, he said “it's no good trying to outrun it, its catching up”. The philosopher kept a little ahead and replied “I am not trying to outrun the lion, I am trying to outrun you!”

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Cheating man almost caught red-handed

Coming into the bar and ordering a double, the man leaned over and confided to the bartender, "I'm so pissed off !" "Oh yeah? What happened?" asked the bartender politely. "See, I met this beautiful woman who invited me back to her home. We stripped off our clothes and jumped into bed and we were just about to make love when her god damned husband came in the front door. So I had to jump out of the bedroom window and hang from the ledge by my fingernails!" "Gee, that's tough!" commiserated the bartender. "Right, but that's not what really got me aggravated," the customer went on. "When her husband came into the room he said 'Hey great! You're naked already! Let me just take a leak.' And damned if the lazy son of a bitch didn't piss out the window right onto my head?" "Yeech!" the bartender shook his head. "No wonder you're in a lousy mood." "Yeah, but I haven't told you what really, really got to me. Next, I had to listen to them grunting and groaning and when they finished, the husband tossed his condom out of the window. And where does it land? My damned forehead!" "Damn, that really is a drag!" says the bartender. "Oh, I'm not finished. See what really pissed me off was when the husband had to take a dump. It turns out that their toilet is broken, so he stuck his ass out of the window and let loose right on my head !" The bartender paled. "That would sure mess up my day." "Yeah, yeah, yeah," the fellow rattled on, "but do you know what REALLY, REALLY, REALLY pissed me off? When I looked down and saw that my feet were only SIX inches off the ground!!"

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The helping hand

Harry and his wife are having hard financial times, so they decide that she'll become a hooker. She's not quite sure what to do, so Harry says, "Stand in front of that bar and pick up a guy. Tell him that you charge a hundred bucks. If you got a question, I'll be parked around the corner." She's standing there for 5 minutes when a guy pulls up and asks, "How much?" She says, "A hundred dollars." He says, "All I got is thirty". She says, "Hold on," and runs back to Harry and asks, "What can he get for thirty?" "A hand job", Harry reply. She runs back and tells the guy all he gets for thirty dollar is a hand job. He agrees. She gets in the car. He unzips his pants, and out pops this HUGE ...... She stares at it for a minute, and then says, "I'll be right back." She runs back to Harry, and asks, "Can you loan this guy seventy bucks?"

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Cosmetics vs Mathematics

Luke's wife bought a new line of expensive cosmetics guaranteed to make her look years younger. After a lengthy sitting before the mirror applying
the "miracle" products she asked, "Darling, honestly what age would you say I am?" Looking over her carefully, Luke replied, "Judging from your skin, twenty; your hair, eighteen; and your figure, twenty-five." "Oh, you flatterer!" she gushed. "Hey, wait a minute!" Luke interrupted. "I haven't added them up yet."
Moral of the story : Wait for the last sentance

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Download free PC Cillin Antivirus 2007

PC Cillin Antivirus 2007 safeguards your PC with advanced protection from threats such as viruses, worms, and Trojans. Our award-winning antivirus engine helps detect and prevent viruses and other threats from infecting your PC in email messages, instant message attachments, Internet downloads and more. Designed with a simple interface, PC Cillin Antivirus 2007 is a quick, cost-effective way to vaccinate your PC.Automatic Updates and Outbreak Alerts. Automatically Removes Viruses. Safeguard Your Email, Files and Internet Downloads.

Download link:
http://rapidshare.com/files/10555949/Pc_Cilin_2007.part1.rar http://rapidshare.com/files/10565473/Pc_Cilin_2007.part2.rar
Related: pc cillin antivirus serial free download, download pc cillin anti virus serial number free, Free pc cillin antivirus download, PC cillin anti virus full version download free, Freee anti virus download, Download free antivirus, Free online virus scanner, Free anti virus download.

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Download Windows Vista Spiderman Edition 2 free

What's new in this version :

.NET Framework Versions 1.1 & 2
Mircrosoft Visual C++ Runtimes
Microsoft Visual J#

Enhanced Control Panel
K-Lite Mega Codec Pack v2.01
DirectX v9.1.3
Flash Player v9.0.28
Windows Media Player 11
Internet Explorer 7
Firefox v2.0.3
ThumbView Lite 1.0
WinRar v3.7
Foxit v2.2
UnDelete Plus v2.8
Vista Drive Indicator
Multiple Context-Menu Additions

Download:

http://rapidshare.com/files/46237178/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part1.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46235508/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part2.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46233771/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part3.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46231940/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part4.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46229933/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part5.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46228045/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part6.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46226157/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part7.rar
http://rapidshare.com/files/46224269/Windows_VistaXP_Spiderman.part8.rar

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Jokes for linux geeks

Everyone have a hard time while using vi. Because of the edit mode and command mode. So pretty soon they end up like this while quitting from vi :D


everyone's first vi session.
^C^C^X^X^X^XquitqQ!qdammit[esc]qwertyuiopasdfghjkl;:xwhat


Moral of the story : Skip this joke, if you have never used vi editor

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Download mp3 of Darling (2007) free

Movie information:

Directors : Ram Gopal Varma
Producer : Bhushan Kumar & Krishan Kumar
Cast : Esha Deol, Fardeen Khan, Isha Koppikar, Zakir Hussain, Pubali Sanyal, Mukesh Bhatt, Nisha Kothari
Music Director : Himesh Reshammiya, Pritam Chakraborty
Lyricist : Sameer
Singers : Himesh Reshammiya, Tulsi Kumar, Shaan, Sunidhi Chaudhan, Adnan Sami, Priyadarshini
Cassettes and CD's on : T-Series
Audio Release Date : July. 2007
MP3 Bitrate : 320Kbps VBR (~)

Song lists:

01 - Himesh Reshammiya & Tulsi Kumar - Tadap
02 - Shaan & Sunidhi Chauhan - Aa Khushi Se Khudkhushi Kar Le
03 - Adnan Sami & Tulsi Kumar - Saathiya
04 - Shaan & Tulsi Kumar - Hasaye Bhi Rulaye Bhi
05 - Adnan Sami & Tulsi Kumar - Saathiya
06 - Tulsi Kumar - Akele Tanha
07 - Himesh Reshammiya & Tulsi Kumar - Tadap (Remix)08 - Priyadarshini - Awwaz Koi
09 - Shaan & Sunidhi Chauhan - Aa Khushi Se Khudkhushi Kar Le (Remix)
10 - Shaan & Tulsi Kumar - Hasaye Bhi Rulaye Bhi (Remix)
11 - Adnan Sami & Tulsi Kumar - Saathiya (Remix)

Download links are here :

01 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2012/01-20--20Darling-20-2007--20--20Tadap-20-5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

02 - http://rnbload.com/file/2046/02---Darling--2007----Aa-Khushi-Se-Khudkhushi-Kar-Le--MOBINEEDZ-COM--mp3.html

03 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2044/03---Darling--2007----Saathiya--5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

04 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2045/04-20--20Darling-20-2007--20--20Hasaye-20Bhi-20Rulaye-20Bhi-20-5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

05 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2028/05-20--20Darling-20-2007--20--20Saathiya-20-5bMobineed-com-5d-mp3.html

06 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2029/06-20--20Darling--2007--20--20Akele-20Tanha-20-5bMobineed-com-5d-mp3.html

07 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2031/07-20--20Darling-20-2007--20--20Tadap-20-Remix--20-5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

08 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2032/08-20--20Darling--2007--20--20Awwaz-Koi-20-5bMobineedz-com-mp3.html

09 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2033/09-20--20Darling-20-2007--20--20Aa-20Khushi-20Se-20Khudkhushi-20Kar-20Le-20-Remix--20-5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

10 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2041/10-20--20Darling--2007----Hasaye-Bhi-Rulaye-Bhi--Remix---5b-5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

11 - http://www.rnbload.com/file/2042/11-20--20Darling-20-2007--20--20Saathiya-20-Remix--20-5bMobineedz-com-5d-mp3.html

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Spot the donkey..

Guess who's the donkey in this funny picture :D ...

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Logistics, Organization and Legislation

After having failed his exam in "Logistics and Organization", a student goes and confronts his lecturer about it.

Student: "Sir, do you really understand anything about the subject?"

Professor : "Surely I must. Otherwise I would not be a professor!"

Student : "Great, well then I would like to ask you a question. If you can give me the correct answer, I will accept my mark as is and go. If you however do not know the answer, I want you give me an "A" for the exam. "

Professor : "Okay, it's a deal. So what is the question?"

Student: "What is legal, but not logical, logical, but not legal, and neither logical, nor legal?"

Even after some long and hard consideration, the professor cannot give the student an answer, and therefore changes his exam mark into an "A", as agreed. Afterwards, the professor calls on his best student and asks him the same question.

He immediately answers: "Sir, you are 63 years old and married to a 35 year old woman, which is legal, but not logical. Your wife has a 25 year old lover, which is logical, but not legal. The fact that you have given your wife's lover an "A", although he really should have failed, is neither legal, nor logical."

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Some important abbreviation...

PCMCIA - People Can`t Memorize Computer Industry Acronyms
ISDN - It Still Does Nothing
SCSI - System Can`t See It
DOS - Defective Operating System
BASIC - Bill`s Attempt to Seize Industry Control
IBM - I Blame Microsoft
DEC - Do Expect Cuts
CD-ROM - Consumer Device, Rendered Obsolete in Months
OS/2 - Obsolete Soon, Too.
WWW - World Wide Wait
MACINTOSH - Most Applications Crash; If Not, The Operating System Hangs
PENTIUM - Produces Erroneous Numbers Thru Incorrect Understanding of Mathematics
COBOL - Completely Obsolete Business Oriented Language
AMIGA - A Merely Insignificant Game Addiction
LISP - Lots of Infuriating & Silly Parenthesis
MIPS - Meaningless Indication of Processor Speed
WINDOWS - Will Install Needless Data On Whole System
MICROSOFT - Most Intelligent Customers Realize Our Software Only Fools Teenagers
RISC - Reduced Into Silly Code

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Before marriage vs After Marriage

before marriage & after marriage

Before Marriage - - -

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.

She: Do you want me to leave?

He: NO! Don't even think about it.

She: Do you love me?

He: Of course! Over and over!

She: Have you ever cheated on me?

He: NO! Why are you even asking?

She: Will you kiss me?

He: Every chance I get!

She: Will you hit me?

He: Are you crazy! I'm not that kind of person!

She: Can I trust you?

He: Yes.

She: Darling!



After marriage - - - simply read from bottom to top

Moral of the story : Between the devil and the dark sea.

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Bug logging in A project

How Tester (QA Tester) frustrates Developer (Developer) - Tooo Funny !!

Tester: Hey, there is a bug in your code. Type a text in user name text box and press enter. Beep sound doesn't appear.

Developer: How can that be a bug? There is no requirement that beep sound should come. Anyway, I will assign it to offshore and get it fixed.


After 2 days,

Developer: Bug is fixed. Please verify.


After another 2 days,

Tester: I have re-opened the bug because sound is not coming in some PCs. Sound is coming in my machine, but my colleague is not getting the sound.


After another 2 days,

Developer: Not a bug. I observed that your colleague has old IBM machine. Unlike your DELL machine, IBM machines do not have inbuilt speakers. So, to hear the sound in your colleague's machine, please use head phones and then get the bug closed soon.


Another 2 days,

Tester: I have re-opened the bug because sound tone is different across different machines. Sound is coming as 'BEEP' in my machine, but my colleague who is having IBM machine is getting the sound as 'TONG'.

Developer: Not a bug. Get lost man. What can we do for the bug? The two machines are built in such a way that they produce different sounds.Do you expect the developers to rebuild the IBM processors to make them
uniform? Please close it.


Another 2 days,

Tester: I have re-opened the bug because intensity of beep sound produced on 2 different DELL machines is different. My machine produces beep sound of intensity 10 decibels whereas my friend's machine produces sound worth 20 decibels. Fix your code to make the sound uniform across all machines.


Another 2 days later,

Developer: Once again it is not a bug. I have noticed that the volume set is different on the two machines. Ensure that volume is same in both the machines before I get mad and then close the bug.


Another 2 days,

Tester: I have re-opened the bug.

Developer: What ?? Why? What more stupid reasons can be there for re-opening?

Tester: Sound intensity is different for machines placed at different locations [different buildings]. So, I have re-opened it.


After 2 days,

Developer: I have made some scientists do an acoustical analysis of the two buildings you used for testing. They have observed that the acoustics in the two buildings varies to a large extent. That is why sound intensity is different across the 2 buildings. So, I beg you to please close the bugs.


After 1 year

Tester: I am re-opeing the bug. During the year, I requested the clients to arrange architects to build two buildings with same acoustical features, so that I can test it again. Now, when I tested, I found that intensity of sound still varying. So, I am re-opening the defect.

Developer: GROWLLLL.....I am really mad now. I am sure that the sound waves of the two buildings are getting distorted due to some background noice or something. Now I need to waste time to prove that it is because of background noice.

Tester: No need for that. We will put the machines and run them in vacuum and see.

Developer: Not Alive !!!!!!!!

Moral of the story : Don't detest who tests!

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