Sunday, April 29, 2007

Tiger attack

How many people have survived a tiger attack? Only a few lucky one I guess, and those will tell that story to everyone they know for the rest of their life, I am pretty much sure about that. But what about this guy? What do you think? I don't think so...



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Saturday, April 28, 2007

Alligator shoes...

A young blonde was on vacation and driving through the Everglades. She wanted to take home a pair of genuine alligator shoes in the worst way, but was very reluctant to pay the high prices the local vendors were asking.

After becoming very frustrated with the "no haggle on prices" attitude of one of the shopkeepers, the blonde shouted, "Well then, maybe I'll just go out and catch my own alligator, so I can get a pair of shoes for free!"

The shopkeeper said with a sly, knowing smile, "Little lady,just go and give it a try!"

The blonde headed out toward the swamps, determined to catch an alligator. Later in the day, as the shopkeeper is driving home, he pulls over to the side of the levee where he spots the same young woman standing waist deep in the murky bayou water, shotgun in hand.

Just then, he spots a huge 9-foot gator swimming rapidly toward her. With lightning speed, she takes aim, kills the creature and hauls it onto the slimy bank of the swamp. Lying nearby were 7 more of the dead creatures, all lying on their backs.

The shopkeeper stood on the bank, watching in silent amazement.

The blonde struggled and flipped the gator onto its back. Rolling her eyes heavenward and screaming in great frustration, she shouts out. . .CRAP... THIS ONE'S BAREFOOT, TOO!

Moral of the story : Blondes might be accurate, but they are not smart.

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Friday, April 27, 2007

Best of Japanese Pranks

Damn those japs they know how to make fun. Here's another compilation of some of their craziest and funniest pranks. Unbelievable...



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Thursday, April 26, 2007

Guy who doesn't need condom

Check out this clip from a British comedy television series, Man Stroke Woman. The guy claims that he doesn't need any condom , but the woman rules "No condom, no sex". Who will win?



Moral of the story :Use condom, play safe.

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Sunday, April 22, 2007

MAC lover?

Can't believe someone could actually do this to his car!




Source

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Create a photo realistic ipod on MS paint

Check this out...


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News blooper

Just check out the reaction of this man who is clearly unaware of the time when he's supposted to be presenting s story instead of having a break. And the place, Canberra of Australia, where the incident happened it's prohibited to show smoking in media which made the reaction more funny. Check it out...


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Saturday, April 21, 2007

What a couple!

A man had been having a few beers down at the neighborhood bar. It was dark out and he was walking home by a park when nature called so he stepped behind a hedge to relieve himself. To his and their surprise a couple were going at it on the grass and he almost stepped on them. The guy got up and took off running.

The man could see the naked outline of the gals bare legs as she continued to lie there while he relieved himself. He could feel his interest grow as he finished. Without a word he got down on his knees between her legs and took advantage of the situation. She embraced him and showed her willingness.

Just as they were both getting into it hot and heavy a cop walked by and shined his flashlight on them saying, “What the hell do you think your doing, this is a public park.”

The man said, “But officer this is my wife.”

The officer said, “Oh, I didn’t know she was your wife.”

The man replied, “Neither did I ’till you shined your light on her.”

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Most Pierced Woman

World's most pierced woman, Elaine Davidson, definitely looks scary. Since having her first body piercing in January 1997, this Brazilian born lady has had 2,500 piercings over and inside her body, as of 13 October 2004. She is the "Most Pierced Woman" according to the Guinness World Records. During her last examination, she was found to have 192 piercings on her facial area alone, including her ears, forehead, eyebrows, chin, nose and tongue. Davidson has more than 500 piercings alone through her genitalia. Total weight of her piercings is estimated to be about 3 kilograms. A holder of a black belt in Judo, she is currently living in Edinburgh, Scotland, where she offers fortune telling services, hair braiding, and runs the 'Tropical Rainbow Paradise Shop'. Here's some of her photographs...









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Thursday, April 19, 2007

Smeagol??


Remember smeagol? If don't then if the name Gollum rings any bell? Well Smeagol / Gollum is a fictional character from J. R. R. Tolkien's legenday creation "The Lord of the Rings." Well here's a photo that'll definitely remember gollum or smeagol whatever you may call him. It's actually a tarsier. They are are not considered to be monkeys. Tarsiers have enormous eyes and long feet. Their feet have extremely elongated tarsus bones, which is how they got their name. Check him out




Photo by Doy

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Interactive learning

An introvert went to bar and spots a pretty looking woman sitting on the stool. He mustered all his courage for long time, then timidly approached and asked her, “Ma’ am, would be OK if sit here and talk with you?”

She was alert, suspecting this man, and responds by yelling, “No, I won’t sleep with you tonight!”

Customers in the bar started staring at them. The embarrassed guy quickly returns to his table dejected and ashamed.

The young woman, waits a little and then goes to the guy to apologize. With a smile on her face she says, “I am sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I am a college student in psychiatry and I am putting together a thesis as to how people react to embarrassing moments.”

The cunning guy now yells loudly, “What do you mean by $500?”

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Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Men vs Women

It's probably old, but it still is funny. A man and a woman has given the mission to buy pants from Gap. Check out what they end up with..


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Jim carrey as rocky balboa...

Check out this amazing video where Jim Carrey is as Sylvester Stallone / Rocky Balboa and Kim Wayans is as Grace Jones in Amazing Grace—Rocky VI.




From In Living Color.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Woman

Women are complex creatures…..

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman
If you don’t, you are not a man
If you praise her, she thinks you are lying
If you don’t, you are good for nothing
If you agree to all her likes, you are a wimp
If you don’t, you are not understanding
If you visit her often,she thinks it is boring
If you don’t , she accuses you of double-crossing
If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy
If you don’t , you are a dull boy
If you are jealous, she says it’s bad
If you don’t, she thinks you do not love her
If you attempt a romance, she says you didn’t respect her
If you don’t, she thinks you do not like her
If you are a minute late, she complains it’s hard to wait
If she is late, she says that’s a girl’s way
If you visit another man, you’re not putting in “quality time”
If she is visited by another woman, “Oh it’s natural, we are girls”
If you kiss her once in a while, she professes you are cold
If you kiss her often, she yells that you are taking advantage
If you stare at another woman, she accuses you of flirting
If she is stared by other men, she says that they a just admiring
If you talk, she wants you to listen
If you listen, she wants you to talk

Moral of the story :
So simple, yet so complex
So weak, yet so powerful
So confusing, yet so desirable
So damning, yet so wonderful……….WOMEN !

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Amazing sky diving

This guy takes sky diving to a whole new level. See it to believe it..



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The making of an accident..

What might happen when Audi RS4 and a BMW M5 starts to race in a busy highway? Well in this video nothing really happened, but this type of phenomenons are the reason for the increase rate of death caused by road accidents. Such reckless drivers should be whipped. Anyway check it out


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Saturday, April 14, 2007

What sex is the computer?

A French teacher was explaining to her college class that in French, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine. House is feminine “la maison.” Pencil is masculine “le crayon.”

A student asked, “What gender is computer ?”

Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two groups male and female - and asked them to decide for themselves whether “computer” should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for their recommendation.

The men’s group decided that “computer” should definitely be of the feminine gender (la computer) because:

1.. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;

2.. The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;

3.. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later review; and

4.. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your pay cheque on accessories for it.

The women’s group, however, concluded that computers should be masculine le computer) because:

1.. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;

2.. They have a lot of data but still can’t think for themselves;

3.. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and

4.. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.

The women won !!


Moral of the story : Two morals.

i)If you are a man : You can never satisfy a woman.

ii)If you are a woman : Well you won! What more do you need? [proves moral (i)]

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Martian Sex

A couple from Earth has finally saved up enough money to take a vacation on Mars (they could do that then). So they go to mars and meet a martian couple and start talking about they way they do things and come to the subject of sex. They decide to switch partners for the night to see what happens.

The human woman and the man martian go into a room and the martian strips but his thing is the size of a pencil (whoa), and the woman says, "um, how is this going to work?"
The martian man replies "Oh, not big enough? Okay then."

All of a sudden he starts slapping his forehead and his thing grows longer. "Um, that's good but isn't it still a little thin?
"No problem" the martian man replies.
Then he starts pulling his ears and it grows wider.
The woman is amazed by this and they have wonderful sex.

The next day they meet and the human man asks his wife how it was and she said "Oh my, it was wonderful! How was your night?"


The man replied, "It was awful!!
The martian woman kept slapping my forehead and puling my ears!

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Friday, April 13, 2007

Why I fired my secretary?

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy birthday!", and possibly have a present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy birthday".

I thought... well, that's marriage for you, but the kids will remember. My kids ate breakfast and didn't say a word.

So when I left for the office, I was feeling pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary, Jane said, "Good morning boss, happy birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock and then Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day outside, and it's your birthday, let's go out to lunch, just you and me".

I said, "Thanks Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!"

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. We dined instead at a little place with a private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, it's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go back to the office, do we?"

I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?"

She said, "Let's go to my apartment".

After arriving at her apartment Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for a moment. I'll be right back".

"OK", I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake... followed by my wife, kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy Birthday".

And I just sat there...

On the couch...

Naked...

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Thursday, April 12, 2007

Leopard and the baboon..

A leopard killed a pregnant baboon for his feast and found out it's baby. What could be his reaction? Does it going to kill the baby? Check this amazing video..



Here's the video that shows the kill.

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Wednesday, April 11, 2007

Banned Condom Commercial

Check out this very funny banned commercial...


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Anything for a 100

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous and sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her. The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare and walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition." Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words." The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket and slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint... my... house."

Moral of the story : Look before you leap

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Monday, April 09, 2007

Who's the boss?

When God made man, all the parts of the body argued over who would be boss. The brain explained that since he controlled all the parts of the body, he should be boss. The legs argued that since they took the man wherever he wanted to go, they should be boss. The stomach countered with explanation that since he digested all the food, he should be boss. The eyes said that without them, man would be helpless, so they should be boss. Then the asshole applied for the job. The other parts of the body laughed so hard that the asshole become mad and closed up. After a few days the brain went foggy, the legs got wobbly, the stomach got ill, the eyes got crossed and unable to see. They all conceded and made the asshole boss. This proves that you dont' have to be a brain to be boss.... just an asshole.


Moral of the story : That proves the behavior of your boss

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Bush and Rice

Check this out. No descriptions are needed

The Introduction



The Love



The Disgust



The reason



Original post in Bangla

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Sunday, April 08, 2007

April Fool from the Simpsons

Homer has been playing pranks on Bart throughout the day, so Bart attempts to get revenge. Can he do it?



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Saturday, April 07, 2007

Penis talk from the scrubs

JD tries to give the janitor medical advice and one thing lead to others and he falls into embarrassing position. Check out this funniest clip



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Out of control

Some foreign talk show host has a laugh attack in the middle of a serious conversation with a guest who has a high pitched voice. The situation was really awkward.. Just watch it..




Moral of the story : Learn when to laugh, it saves lots of embarassment.

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Friday, April 06, 2007

How to break up with your girl friend in 64 easy steps

You may find it very difficult to break up with your girl friend. Here are 64 easy ways to break up with your girl friend. Check it out..



Moral of the story : No moral, just an advice : Don't break up, 'cause it's love that makes us great.

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Sisters of Mercy House

A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway, when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 10 Miles. He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution 5 Miles and realizes that these signs are for real. When he drives past a third sign saying Sisters of Mercy House of Prostitution Next Right, his curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive.

On the far side of the parking lot is a somber stone building with a small sign next to the door reading SISTERS OF MERCY. He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks
"What may we do for you, my son?"

He answers "I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business."

"Very well, my son. Please follow me." He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented.

The nun stops at a closed door,and tells the man "Please knock on this door."
He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit and holding a tin cup.This nun instructs "Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway."

He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nun's cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: Go in Peace, You Have Just Been Screwed by the Sisters of Mercy.


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Successor selection

The old chief priest in the remote monastery was sickly and dying, and the time had come for him to choose among the other priests, the one most suitable to succeed him. He called all of them togehter one day and announced that he had devised an ingenious plan to determine the holiest among them. He then gave out to each of the priests a small drum and asked that they tied it around their waists. Having done so, they stood in a semi circle while the cheif priest clapped his hands. Immediately, from hehind the curtains came a bevy of flimsily clad dancers who began to perform the most provocative routine in front of the shocked priests. As the tempo increased, there were drumming sounds coming from the waists of all but one priest. Approaching this particular priest, the chief priest announced that he had found his successor, at the same time admonishing the rest of the herd for their lack of sanctity. Calling this priest to face the crowd, he lifted his attire but, horror of horrors, he discovered that the drum had broken through!

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New google logo

Check out the new google logo, we know what you've been searching for...



Source : Unknown.

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Thursday, April 05, 2007

Is this the most amazing bowling shot?

I don't want to say anything before you watch this video, Just see it to believe it.



It's a trick shot called spare conversion with spinning ball.

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Knowledge is power

People used to say, american's don't know what is outside world. Here's a living proof...


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Heritage!

A ship sank in high seas and the following people got stranded on a beautiful deserted island in the middle of nowhere:

A. 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman
B. 2 French men and 1 French woman
C. 2 German men and 1 German woman
D. 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman
E. 2 Polish men and 1 Polish woman
F. 2 Mexican men and 1 Mexican woman
G. 2 American men and 1 American woman
H. 2 Indian men and 1 Indian woman

What a Crazy coincidence! One month later, on various parts of the island, the following was observed:

A. One Italian man killed the other Italian man for the Italian woman.

B. The two French men and the French woman are living happily together.

C. The two German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they spend time with the German woman.

D. The two Greek men are happy together, and the Greek woman is cooking & cleaning for them.

E. The two Polish men took a long look at the endless ocean and a long look at the Polish woman, and they started swimming.

F. The two Mexican men are talking to all the other men on the island trying to sell them the Mexican woman.

G. The two American men are contemplating suicide. The American woman is bitching about her body being her own, the true nature of feminism, the equal division of the household chores, how her last boyfriend respected her opinion and treated her much better, and how her relationship with her mother is improving.

H. What happened to the Indians????

The 2 Indian men are still waiting for someone to introduce them to the Indian woman!

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The butt sniffer

A Sardar went hunting one day in Ontario and bagged three ducks. He put them in the bed of his pickup truck and was about to drive home when he was confronted by a game warden who didn’t like Sardars.

The game warden ordered the Sardar to show his hunting license, and the Sardar pulled out a valid Ontario hunting license.

The game warden looked at the license, then reached over and picked up one of the ducks, sniffed its butt, and said, “This duck ain’t from Ontario.This is a Quebec duck. You got a Quebec huntin’ license,boy?”

The Sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Quebec hunting license.

The game warden looked at it, then reached over and grabbed the second duck, sniffed its butt, and said “This ain’t no Quebec duck.

This duck’s from Manitoba. You got a Manitoba license?”

The sardar reached into his wallet and produced a Manitoba hunting license. The warden then reached over and picked up the third duck, sniffed its butt, and said, “This ain’t no Manitoba duck. This here duck’s from Nova Scotia. You got a Nova Scotia huntin’ license?”

Again the Sardar reached into his wallet and brought out a Nova Scotia hunting license.

The game warden was extremely frustrated at this point, and he yelled at the Sardar “Just where the hell are you from?”

The Sardar smiled turned around, bent over, dropped his pants, and said, “You tell me, you’re the expert.”


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Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Drag queens..

A college jock was challanged to pick the real woman from a lineup of drag queens.Only one of them is a real genetic woman, and the rests are drag queen impersonating others. So can you guess which one is she?





Moral of the story : Appearances Can Be Deceiving

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Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Dell Tech Support Moron

A guy calls into Dell Tech support because he hasn't been able to figure out how to turn his moms computer off. He completely loses his mind on this poor tech support operator until his problem is solved...in about 10 seconds.



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