Disclaimer: Some content may hurt your feelings. Some jokes may be for adults only. So read at your own risk.
Wednesday, February 28, 2007
What is Quantum physics? From wikipedia we know that, "It is a fundamental physical theory which extends and corrects Newtonian mechanics, especially at the atomic and subatomic levels. It is the underlying framework of many fields of physics and chemistry, including condensed matter physics, quantum chemistry, and particle physics. The term quantum (Latin, "how much") refers to the discrete units that the theory assigns to certain physical quantities, such as the energy of an atom at rest"
But here Conan and Jim Carrey discuss quantum physics - and Max attempts to. Check out this hilarious clip.
Friendship among women: A woman doesn't come home at night. The next day she tells her husband she slept over at a friends' house. The man calls his wife's 10 best friends. None of them know about it. Friendship among men: A man doesn't come home at night. The next day he tells his wife he slept over at a friends' house. The woman calls her husbands' 10 best friends. 8 of them say he did sleep over and 2 claim he's still there.
Moral of the story : A Woman's best enemy is another woman.
DJ's Pull a prank on two sex workers, they phone the first one, put her on hold , stating they will put her onto his girlfriend, then they phone another sex worker and put her on to the first one.. Its Hilarious!! Check it out...
They are here, walking among us. Seemingly normal people with special qualities. They cannot fly or teleport. Though that would be nice but still they do have hidden powers. They aren't the heroes... then what are they? Watch it to know the answer...
A clip from "Body Flex II" workout video with Greer Childers. She does an exercise that's supposed to get rid of wrinkles in your face, but it just looks ridiculus! I think you'll get a better workout from laughing. Check it out
Imagine you walked onto an elevator and beautiful women were acting freaky. How would you react? I know how I would. A few ladies are sent in an elevator to see how people react watching them kissing or exposing boobs, sometimes handing their dildos.. The reactions are funny. Check it out
A man was on his first business trip to Japan, and he decided to check out the local Whore House. He walked in and was assigned a young girl with a body that got him "up" immediately. As soon as they reached the room, he started ripping her clothes off and going to town. Moaning and grunting, the girl was screaming in Japanese, "Wasukima! Wasukima!" He was sure that she was praising him for his good job, so he kept going harder than ever. Later, he went golfing with his boss and a few clients. As the clients were Japanese, he decided to impress them with his new knowledge of their language. When one of them got a hole in one, he raised his arms and shouted "Wasukima!". All of the men looked at him quizzically, and one of them asked, "Why are you shouting 'wrong hole'?"
Moral of the story : Speak roman while you are in rome....
Her Majesty the Queen was being shown around a hospital. As she was being given the guided tour by a senior consultant, they passed a room where a man was masturbating wildly through the window. Of course the Queen was not at all amused and demanded an explanation as to why these activities were allowed in the hospital. "Ah," said the doctor, "Now, although it is perhaps unfortunate that you should have witnessed that, in fact, that poor patient is suffering from a very debilitating condition. He produces so much semen that unless he gets rid of it 4 times a day his testicles will explode." "Oh." said Her Majesty. "Well, in that case I suppose it's understandable."
Further down the corridor they passed another room. The door was open and you could see a nurse was clearly giving a patient oral sex. "Goodness Gracious!" shrieked Her Majesty, "I demand an explanation of this kind of sordid goings- on!" "Ah," said the Doctor, "same problem - better health plan."
People do more than smile in free photo booth! A free photo booth is set and people's reactions are taken while they went inside to take their photo. Just check what people do while in the free photo booth...
One day, a girl went to her boyfriend's parents' house for dinner. When they got done eating dinner, they decided to go for a walk through the pasture. While they were walking, they came upon 2 horses that were mating. She looks at them with wonder because she has never seen anything like this before.
She asks the boy, "What are they doing?"
He says: "They're making love."
"Well, what's that long thing he's sticking in there?" She asked.
"Oh, uh, that's his rope," he answered.
"Well, what are those two round things on the other end?" she asked.
He says, "Those are his knots." She says, "Oh, ok, I got it."
As they continue their stroll, they come to a barn and go in. She looks at him and says, "I want you to make love to me the way those animals were." Surprised and excited, the boy agrees. While they are getting at it all hot and heavy, she grabs his balls and squeezes.
"Whoa, what are you doing?!" he shouts.
The girl innocently replies, "I'm untying the knots so I'll get more rope!"
Interestingly, research has shown that young children cannot identify the intimate couple because they do not have prior memory associated with such a scenario.
What they WILL see, however, is the nine dolphins in the picture! So, I guess we've already proven you're not a young innocent child. Now, if it's hard for you to find the dolphins within 6 seconds, your mind is indeed corrupt and you probably need help, you sicko!
If you can find the dolphins in the picture you can post their position in the comments. I'll reveal the answers tomorrow.
Here's another similar example. If you see anything other than an A with dots on it's left, you are sick. Thanks to dosed
Naked Man Goes Nutz Because of Huge Snowfall in Northeast
Brock Siegel from Pepperjam was shooting video of the huge snow and ice storm that is crushing the Northeast. During the video some crazy guy exits a Barnes & Noble, strips off his clothing down to his underwear, and begins to frantic like a wild man. Absolutely hilarious video. It may be staged but still funny.
Two deaf people get married. During the first week of marriage, they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom when they turn off the lights (because they can't see each other using sign language, natch). After several nights of fumbling around and misunderstandings, the wife proposes a solution. "Honey," she signs, "Why don't we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don't want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast one time." The husband thinks this is a great idea and signs back to his wife, "Great idea! Now if you want to have sex with ME, reach over and pull on my penis one time." "And if you don't want to have sex, reach over and pull on my penis......fifty times"
Dave rents an apartment in New York, and goes to the lobby to put his name on the group mailbox. While there, a very attractive young lady comes out of the apartment next to the mailboxes wearing a robe. Dave smiles at the young woman and she strikes up a conversation with him. As they talk, her robe slips open, and it's quite obvious that she has nothing on under the robe. Poor Dave breaks out into a sweat trying to maintain eye contact. After a few minutes, she places her hand on his arm and says, "Let's go in my apartment, I hear someone coming..." He proceeds with her into the apartment, and after she closes the door, she leans against it allowing her robe to fall off. Now completely nude, she purrs at him, "What would you say is my best feature?" The flustered and embarrassed Dave stammers, clears his throat several times, and finally squeaks out, "Oh, its got to be your ears!" Astounded, she replies, "My ears? Why my ears? Look at these breasts! They are full, don't sag, and they're 100% natural! My buns - they are firm and don't sag, and have no cellulite! Look at this skin, no blemishes, or scars! Why in heaven's name would you say my ears are the best part of my body?!" Clearing his throat once again, Dave stammers, "Outside when you said you heard someone coming? . . . That was me."
I think there's nothing wrong with smacking pussy. This video is totally safe for work but if someone saw you watching this, will definitely think you a weirdo. So be careful. Now check out this funny but weird video..
The Flying Car is a six-minute short film written and directed by Kevin Smith featuring Clerk's Characters, Dante and Randal. The short film was the first commissioned for The Tonight Show and premiered there on February 27, 2002 and it also appears on the 10th anniversary Clerks. Check it out
C-SPAN is the Cable-Satellite Public Affairs Network which was the first United States cable television network dedicated to 24-hour coverage of government and public affairs. C-SPAN features live coverage of the House of Representatives. Here's a compilation of the original C-SPAN prank calls. Check them out...
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