How Golf Was Invented

You might've seen it before. I know it's a bit of an oldy but defintly a classic from Robin williams. See how he describes drunk scottish invented golf.



From the DVD Robin Williams - Live On Broadway 2002

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Take that...

An angry customer at a car dealership was so frustated he just drove through the shop.... Check it out...

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Probability 0.0000001%

Just a funny commercial this time from bangkok of an insurance company. Watch it...




Moral of the story : Don't take your chances...

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Multitasking

Multitasking is the colloquial term for a simultaneous handling of multiple tasks. Who invinted it? Well check it out...

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Funniest Japanese prank

Don't worry if you don't speak Japanese, just enjoy this .....





Moral of the story : Don't believe the japanese.

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Best Indian TV Ad

Chewing gum for sparkling teeth. What an idea!! Watch it and love it..

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Wrong guy to rob

These 2 criminals picked the wrong guy to rob, he appears to be a pro boxer and kicks both their ass very hard! Check it out..






Moral of the story : Do a little homework buddies!

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The reddit effect

A few days ago I had one of my posts featured in reddit homepage. I was happy to see the flow of visitors. Listening to their comments and perticipating in the discussion. Most of the commentors suspected about the originality of the video, whether it was staged or a real incident. But whatever it was, it was damn funny. And also it's a good thing to learn for the future. You don't want to loose your cell phone right!

So today when I was checking my referrals, I saw a lot of people were coming from this page. I checked more and found out that it's a course page ( Introduction to Information Processing Systems ) run by Mr. Jason W. Powell, Lecturer, Department of Computer Science at Stephen F. Austin State University in East Texas.

I think he found the link on reddit and brought it to his students' notice. So that the students could learn their lessons from here and never do it in his class. What a nice utilization of web 2.0 !

At the end I am happy that the video served not only as a source of fun but also as a valuable lesson. And that's why the blog is rightfully named, "Fun and Jokes with Morals".

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The swallowing man

Please don't try what you are about to see at your home. This guy in the video can swallow everything!!! Check it out...


Special Swallowing Talent - video powered by Metacafe

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Tit for tat

A boy and his father were playing catch in the front yard when the boy saw a honey bee. He ran over and stomped it.

"That was a honey bee," his father said, "one of our friends. For stomping him you will do without honey for a week."

Later the boy saw a butterfly, so he ran over and stomped it.

"That was a butterfly," his father said, "one of our friends, and for stomping him you will do without butter for a week."

The next morning the family sat down for breakfast. The boy ate his plain toast with no honey or butter.

Suddenly a cockroach ran out from under the stove. His mother stomped it.

The boy looked at his father and said,
"Are you going to tell her, Dad, or should I?"

Moral of the story : As you sow, so you reap

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Don't answer your cell phone in class

If you have a class with this professor. Don't answer your phone during his lecture...




Moral of the story : Answer a phone in this guy's class? Definitely not.

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Whose Line Is It Anyways : Rap With Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert joins Whose Line for a show, and this is what ensues

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Fathers amd sister the beach story

Two priests decided to go to Hawaii on vacation. They were determined to make this a real vacation escape by not wearing anything that would identify them as clergy. As soon as the plane landed, they headed for a store and bought some outrageous shorts, shirts and sandals.

The next morning they went to the beach dressed in their tourist garb. They were sitting on beach chairs, enjoying a drink, the sunshine and the scenery when a drop dead gorgeous blonde wearing a string bikini came walking straight towards them.

They couldn't help but stare. As the blonde passed them she smiled and said, "Good Morning, Father. Good Morning, Father," nodding and addressing each of them individually.

They were both stunned. How in the world did she know they were priests? So the next day, they went back to the store and bought even more outrageous outfits. These were so loud you could hear them before you saw them. Once again, in their new attire, they settled on the beach in their chairs to enjoy the sunshine.

After a while, the same gorgeous blonde, this time topless with just a thong bikini, taking her sweet time, came walking toward them. Again she nodded at each of them, she said, "Good morning, Father. Good morning, Father," and started to walk away.

One of the priests couldn't stand it any longer and said, "Just a minute, young lady."

"Yes, Father?" she said.

"We are priests and proud of it, but I have to know, how in the world did you know we are priests, Dressed as we are?"

"Father, it's me, Sister Margaret."

Moral of the story : Confessions are always made to the fathers.

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VI joke

(user) I'm having trouble with this editor

(admin) Which one are you using ?

(user) Um, I dunno.

(admin) Is it Emacs? Which version are you running ?

(user) Umm, I'm running version vi, and having heaps of trouble. Is vii out?

(admin) Say what?

(user) Have they done anything new?

(admin) Well... Yeah, they're up to xv now, but that needs a special graphical interface.

(user) Oh, well, thanks anyway.

(admin) *shudder*

Moral of the story : Use windows XP, although it's costly but it's more user friendly.

Legend : VI is a text editor in linux.

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Too expensive to bite

A guy was walking down the street when he sees a woman with perfect breasts. He says to her, "Hey, miss, would you let me bite your breasts for $100?"

"Are you nuts?" she replies, and starts to walk away. He then again says, "You wouldn't let me bite your boobs for even $1,000?"

"Listen, sir, I'm not that kind of woman. Got it?" --The lady got angried and replied.

He then raised the money again saying, "How about $10,000?" The woman thinks about this for awhile and says, "You'll pay me $10,000 to bite my breasts?" He nods in agreement. She thought that at the end she'll take 10,000$ and there's almost no harm doing it so reluctantly says, "Let's go to that dark alley over there."

They go to the alley and she takes off her blouse. The guy begins caressing her breasts, kissing them, pressing them, and fondling them. Finally, the woman gets all annoyed and says, "Are you going to bite them, or what?"

"Nah," he replies. "Too expensive!"

Moral of the story : Somethings are too expensive to bite, but a little more wit can give you all the pleasure you want.

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Penis enlargement

One day when the teacher walked to the black board, she noticed someone handwritten the word 'penis' in tiny small letters. She turned around, scanned the class looking for the guilty face. Finding none, she quickly erased it, and began her class.

The next day when she went into the room, and again she saw, in larger letters, the word 'penis' again on the black board. Again, she looked around in vain for the culprit, but found
none, so she proceeded with the day's lesson.

Every morning, for about a week, she went into the classroom and found the same word written on the board, each day's word, larger than the previous day's word.

Finally, one day, she walked in, expecting to be greeted by the same word on the board, but instead, found the words,

'The more you rub it, the bigger it gets!'

Moral of the story : Being the teacher not always means 'you have to teach' sometimes the students can make you learn too.

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Benefits of war

An elderly Italian man who lived in the outskirts of Monte Cassino went to the local church for confession.

He said: "Father, during World War II, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the enemy. So I hid her in my attic."

The priest replied: "That was a wonderful thing you did, my son and you have no need to confess that."

"It's worse than that, Father. She started to repay me with
sexual favors."

The priest said: "By doing that, you were both in great danger. However, two people together under those circumstances are greatly tempted to act that way. But if you! are truly sorry for your actions, you are forgiven."

"Thank you Father. That's a great load off my mind. But I have one more question."

"And what is that?" said the priest.

"Should I tell her the war is over?"

Moral of the story : You must welcome what comes free!

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Heart Atack

A doctor was having an affair with his nurse. Shortly afterward, she told him that she was pregnant. Not wanting his wife to know, he gave the nurse a sum of money and asked her to go to Italy and have the baby there.

"But how will I let you know the baby is born?" she asked.

He replied, "Just send me a postcard and write "spaghetti" on the back. I'll take care of expenses." Not knowing what else to do, the nurse took the money and flew to Italy.

Six months went by, and then one day the doctor's wife called him at the office and said, "Dear, you received a very strange postcard in the mail today from Europe, and I don't understand what it means."

The doctor said, "Just wait until I get home and I will explain it to you."

Later that evening the doctor came home, read the postcard, and fell to the floor with a heart attack. Paramedics rushed him to the hospital emergency room. The head medic stayed back to comfort the wife. He asked what trauma had precipitated the cardiac arrest.

So the wife picked up the card and read: "Spaghetti, Spaghetti, Spaghetti - Two with sausage and meatballs; one without."

Moral of the story : Always use protections, Use condoms.

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Aging..

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, "Surely I can't look that old!"

I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist when I noticed his diploma hanging on the wall. It bore his full name and I suddenly remembered a tall, handsome dark-haired boy with the same name. He had been in my high school class some 40-odd years before and I wondered if he could be the same guy I had a secret crush on way back then?

When I got into the treatment room I quickly discarded any such thought. This balding gray-haired man with the deeply lined face was much too old to have been my secret crush... or was he?

After he examined my teeth I asked if he had attended Morgan Park High School.

"Yes, I did. I'm a Mustang!" he said, gleaming with pride.

"When did you graduate?" I ask ed.

"1959. Why do you ask?" He answered.

"Well, you were in my class!" I exclaimed.

Then that ugly, old, wrinkled son of a bitch asked, "What did you teach?"

Moral of the story : Time and tide wait for none.

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How To Put On A Bra ( Video )

The primary reason for wearing a brassiere or similar foundation garment is to provide external support for the breasts. But sometimes wearing a bra could be interesting. See the coolest way of putting on a bra...


How To Put On A Bra 101 - video powered by Metacafe

Moral of the story : Never watch someone wearing under garment.

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Confidence!

The hero of this joke Abul Abed is a folk hero in Lebanon. He is a Sunni Beiruti.

Olmert was sitting in his office wondering how to invade Lebanon when his telephone rang.

"Hallo, Mr. Olmert!" a heavily accented voice said. "This is Abul Abed, down at the tea house in Beirut! I am callin' to tell ya dat we are officially declaring war on you, yes you!"

"Well" Olmert replied, "This is indeed important news! How big is your army?"

"Right now," said Abul Abed, after a moment's calculation "there is myself, my cousin Mustafa, me next-door-neighbor Abou Khaled, and the whole team from the tea house. That makes eight!"

Olmert paused. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have one million men in my army waiting to move on my command."
"Holy jeez," said Abul Abed. "I'll have to call ya back!" Sure enough, the next day, Abul Abed called again. "Mr. Olmert, the war is still on! We have managed to acquire some infantry equipment!"

"And what equipment would that be Abul Abed?" Olmert asked. "Well sir, we have two Mercedes 180, and a truck."

Olmert sighed. "I must tell you Abul Abed, that I have 16,000 tanks and 14,000 armored personnel carriers. Also I've increased my army to one and a half million since we last spoke."

"Ya lateeeeef", said Abul Abed, "I'll be getting back to ya." Sure enough, Abul Abed rang again the next day. "Mr. Olmert, the war is still on! We have managed to get ourselves airborne! We modified a helicopter with a couple of shotguns in the cockpit, and four more neighbors have joined us as well!"

Olmert was silent for a minute then cleared his throat. "I must tell you Abul Abed that I have 10,000 bombers and 20,000 fighter planes. My military complex is surrounded by laser-guided, surface-to-air missile sites. And since we last spoke, I've increased my army to TWO MILLION!"

"Lah lah lah lah," said Abul Abed, "I'll have to call you back."

Sure enough, Abul Abed called again the next day. "Olmert I am sorry to have to tell you dat we have had to call off this war."

"I'm sorry to hear that" said Olmert. "Why the sudden change of heart?"

"Well, sir," said Abul Abed, "we've all sat ourselves down and had a long chat, and come to realize there's no way we can feed two million prisoners.

Moral of the story : Confidence is the key.

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The Kama Sutra of Reading

From the book Design Humor: The Art of Graphic Wit, found on pg 142, by Seymour Chwast. Have fun...

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For the fathers...

Four men went to see bangla cinema. One man went to get tickets so they could get in the cinema hall, the other three started talking about their sons.

The first man says "My son is doing great, he bought his girlfriend two brand new cars."
Hearing this the second man says "My son is also doing good, he bought his girlfriend an all she can eat coupon to any restaurant she wants."
The third man says "My son is doing good too, he gave his girlfriend a free shopping spree to any mall she wants."
Then the fourth man returns with the tickets. So one of the men then asks "How is your son doing?"
He replied "Sorry my son doesnt like girls but he must be doing something good because his partners have recently given him two new cars, an all you can eat coupon and a free shopping spree to any mall he wants."

Moral of the story : Not all the fathers know well about their sons.

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Effects of doing nothing...

An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing.

A small rabbit saw the eagle and asked him, "Can I also sit like you and do nothing?"

The eagle answered: "Sure, why not."

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle and rested.

All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Moral of the story : - To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

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To lie or not to lie..

A young lady is on a flight returning from Switzerland. She finds herself seated next to a priest and asks
-"Excuse me father, may I ask a favor of you?”
-"Well of course Miss, what can I do for you?" he replies.
-"Here's the dilemma I purchased for myself, a superbly sophisticated electronic hair remover. I paid a lot of money for it. I really went well over the limits set forth by Customs, and I fear they will confiscate it from me. Could you perhaps secret it through Customs for me under your robes?"
-"I certainly could my dear, only I must warn you I really am not ever able to lie..."

-"You have such an honest face father, surely they will never ask any questions of you," and with that she hand him the hair remover.

After landing they proceed through Customs and it becomes the father's turn in line.
-"Father, do you have anything to declare?" asks the Custom's officer. "From the top of my head to my waist I have nothing to declare my son."

Finding this answer a little strange the custom's officer proceeds to ask,
-"And from the waist to the floor, what do you have to declare?"

The father replies,
-"I have a marvelous little instrument destined to be used on a woman, but which has never yet been used..."

Roaring with laughter the Custom's officer says, "Go right through father."

Moral of the story : You can lie without lieing.

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Who's the boss?

Three girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day,they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or came back to work, so how would she know they went home early? The brunette was thrilled to be
home early. She did a little gardening, spent playtime with her son, and went to bed early. The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before meeting a dinner date. The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside. Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her husband in bed with her boss! Gently she closed the door and crept out of her house.

The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhe ad planned to leave early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday".

Moral of the story : Always remember that she might be the boss at office, but at home you are.

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