Why should you use candles?

Mr. Modon comes home one night, and his wife, Modina, throws her arms around his neck: "I have great news: I'm a month overdue. I think we're going to have a baby! The doctor gave me a test today, but until we find out for sure, we can't tell anybody."

The next day, Modina, Mrs. Modon, receives a telephone call from DESA because the electricity bill has not been paid.
"Am I speaking to Mrs Modon?"- the guy from the other side of phone says.
"Yes...... speaking" - replies Modina.
"You're a month overdue, you know!" - says the DESA guy
"How do YOU know?" stammers the young woman.
"Well, ma'am, it's in our files!" says the DESA guy.
Modina : "What are you saying? It's in your files ... HOW ?????"
DESA guy : "Yes ....... We have a system of finding out who's overdue"
Modina : "GOD !!!!!!......... This is too much.........."
DESA guy : "Madam, I am sorry.... I am following orders.... I have to inform you
are overdue".
Modina : "I know that ... let me talk to my husband about this tonight...he will speak to your company tomorrow ".

That night, she tells her husband, Mr. Modon about the call, and he, mad as a bull, rushes to DESA office the next day morning.
"What's going on? You have it on file that my wife is a month overdue? What business is that of yours?" the husband shouts.
"Just calm down," says the lady at the reception at DESA,
"it's nothing serious. All you have to do is pay us." - she exclaims.
Modon : "PAY you? And if I refuse?"
Lady at reception : "Well, in that case, sir, we'd have no option but to cut yours off."
"And what would my wife do then?" the husband asks.
Lady at reception : "I don't know. I guess she'd have to use a candle."

Moral of the story : If your wife uses a candle, there'll be no chance of being overdue.

Click here to read the full post.

The blind man and the restaurant!

A blind man walks into a restaurant and sits down. The waiter, who is also the owner, walks up to the blind man and hands him a menu.

"I'm sorry, sir, but I am blind and can't read the menu. Just bring me a dirty fork from a previous customer. I'll smell it and order from there."-said the blind man.

A little confused, the owner walks over to the dirty dish pile and picks up a greasy fork. He returns to the blind man's table and hands it to him. The blind man puts the fork to his nose and takes in a deep breath. "Ah, yes, that's what I'll have -- meatloaf and mashed potatoes."

Unbelievable, the owner thinks as he walks towards the kitchen. The cook happens to be the owner's wife. He tells her what had just happened. The blind man eats his meal and leaves.

Several days later, the blind man returns and the owner mistakenly brings him a menu again. "Sir, remember me? I'm the blind man." -said the blind man.

"I'm sorry, I didn't recognize you. I'll go get you a dirty fork."-apologizes the owner. He then retrieves a dirty fork and brings it to the blind man.

After another deep breath, the blind man says, "That smells great. I'll take the macaroni and cheese with broccoli."

Walking away in disbelief, the owner thinks the blind man is screwing around with him and tells his wife that the next time the blind man comes in he's going to test him.
The blind man eats and leaves.

He returns the following week, but this time the owner sees him coming and runs to the kitchen. He tells his wife, "Mary, rub this fork on your panties before I take it to the blind man."

Mary complies and hands her husband the fork. As the blind man walks in and sits down, the owner is ready and waiting.

"Good afternoon, sir, this time I remembered you and I already have the fork ready for you."- greeted he.

The blind man puts the fork to his nose, takes a deep whiff, and says, "Hey I didn't know that Mary worked here..."

Moral of the story : Mary's panty stinks.

Click here to read the full post.

Sign language

There was a construction worker on the 3rd floor of an unfinished building. He needed a hand saw, but was too lazy to go down and get it himself, so he tried to call his fellow worker on the ground to get it for him, but this guy could not hear a word he said. So he started to give a sign so the guy on the ground could understand him.
First he pointed at his eyes (meaning "I") then he pointed at his knees (meaning "need), and finally
he moved his hand back and forth describing the movement of a hand saw.

After that, the guy on the ground started nodding his head like he understood and dropped his pants and started to jerk off.

The guy on the 3rd floor got pissed-off and ran down to the ground and started yelling at this guy, "You idiot, I was trying to tell you I needed a hand saw."
The other guy replied, "I know, I was trying to tell you that I was coming."

Moral of the story : Learn to read the signs.

Click here to read the full post.

Being drunk is not a problem at all!

Robin wakes up at home with a huge hangover. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins and a glass of water on the side table. He sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Robin looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotless, clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins and notices a note on the table. "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping. Love You!"

So he goes to the kitchen and sure enough there is a hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Robin asks, "Son, what happened last night?" His son says, "Well, you came home around 3 AM, drunk and delirious. Broke some furniture, puked in the hallway, and gave yourself a black eye when you tumbled into the door". Confused, Robin asks, "So, why is everything in order and so clean, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me? I should expect a big quarrel with her!"

His son replies, Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your clothes and shoes off, you said, "Lady leave me alone! I'm married!"

Moral of the story : Say the right thing while drunk.

Click here to read the full post.

Preacher jokes

A preacher lost his rooster (male chicken) and all his search efforts
proved fruitless. He then decided to mention it in church so that anyone
who knows its whereabouts could advise accordingly The following Sunday,
while in church, he asked: "Who has a cock?"

And all the men stood up.

Embarrassed and not knowing what to say next, he said: "I mean, who,
amongst you, has seen a cock last night?".

All the women stood up.

The priest started to blush when he realized what implications that will
have on his image.

He then asked:" No, no, no. What I mean is who, in
the last two weeks in this church, has seen my cock?"

All the nuns stood up.!!!

Moral of the story : If you find it funny, you have a dirty mind.

Click here to read the full post.

Introduction

Hi people. I start my blog today. Wish my luck. I'm a very cheerful person and I like to smile. I don't believe in the saying that 'a fool laughs for no reason'. Because to me who he laughs and make others laugh are no fool. Laughter is also the best medicine. It helps to :
        * reduce stress,
        * lower blood pressure,
        * elevate mood,
        * boost immune system ,
        * improve brain functioning,
        * protect the heart,
        * connect you to others,
        * foster instant relaxation, and
        * make you feel good.

Humor is essential to mental health for a variety of reasons:

        * Humor enhances our ability to affiliate or connect with others.
        * Humor helps us replace distressing emotions with pleasurable feelings. You cannot feel angry, depressed, anxious, guilty, or resentful and experience humor at the same time.
        * Lacking humor will cause one's thought processes to stagnate leading to increased distress.
        * Humor changes behavior – when we experience humor we talk more, make more eye contact with others, touch others, etc.
        * Humor increases energy, and with increased energy we may perform activities that we might otherwise avoid.
        * Finally, humor is good for mental health because it makes us feel good!

There are also some social benefits of humor and laughter :

       # Laughter is the shortest distance between two people.
       # Humor unites us, especially when we laugh together.
       # Laughter heals.
       # Laughs and smiles are enjoyed best when shared with others.

I specially like the last point : Laughs and smiles are enjoyed best when shared with others. That's why I dedicate my blog for sharing little jokes or funny things just to share the laughter. And also there'll be morals for the story. Hope you'll have fun..

Voltaire rightfully said : "The art of medicine consists of keeping the patient amused while nature heals the disease."

Click here to read the full post.